THAT DWARF DICKNITE!!!!

Sorry i haven’t updated for a bit but I’ve been really busy being a girl irl. Did you miss me? Lol! *blush* I bet you totally did!

Anyhoos, this isn’t a story about me, it’s a story about one of my friends. Okay, not like one of my real friends but one of the people I talk to in the game and who have crazy crushes on me because I can solo anything and, you know, well *blush*. Girl irl here! Heehee!

So iMbAmAgé is totally my best friend, for, like ever in the game. We run loads of stuff together because he does DPS like I heal. I don’t know what the numbers are because I don’t need recount or anything because proper healers don’t need it but he tells me their really really big. Heehee! Sorry, that’s a private joke.

Like maybe he does like I don’t know like 2 thousand DPS or something!!!!!

So iMbAmAgé and me join this pug for Ony 25. And the RL is all like must have achiv and will be geer chk so we know its going to be good and he’s not letting any clueless noobs through like the snotty priest who was with me in Naxx that time, lol. iMbAmAgé and me have the achis and we like totally overgear LIFE (you should see my score on be imba *shy smile*) so the RL is like omg! Totally! The grp seems okay, like there are some noobs and stuff because they get everywhere these days, lol, and oh my god there’s this dwarf DK who thinks he’s ALL THAT. He’s being such a dick to the WHOLE GROUP. All because he got some stupid raiding title, like Starwhatever, and thinks he’s like the god of raiding now or something.

And I’m whispering to iMbAmAgé who does he think he is. Bet he couldn’t solo heal lol. And iMbAmAgé is like yeah cos he’s a DWARF DICKNITE, lol. And so we’re like going DICKNITE DICKNITE DICKNITE to each other and it’s the funniest thing ever.

And it turns out we don’t have 2 tanks cos who’d want to be a tank anyway. And the DDN (that stands for DWARVEN DICKNITE, hee hee, how funny are we?) with his STARWANKER title is all I can tank this. And the RL was all like oh yes please that would be totally awesome of you which just shows how wrong about people you can be.

So we pull the trash and ohmygod we WIPE ON TRASH!!!!!!!!!!

And it’s totally the DDN’s fault. And the RL is all can the ret pallys please be careful with stunning the mobs so the tanks can pull them properly, and can we get heals on both tanks please. I really thought he was an okay guy but it turns out he’s a total noob trying to lead a raid. Come on!!!!!! I mean I can solo heal ANYTHING and he’s telling me how to do my job? I mean, I’m not healing that DDN, ‘cos he totally doesn’t deserve my heals.

And I was getting really sad because everybody was being really mean to be when it wasn’t my fault and maybe they didn’t know I was a girl irl or something. But iMbAmAgé who is my bestest friend in the game like ever speaks up for me. And he says it in all caps so everybody can see it and it won’t get lost in all that stuff the RL is saying about the tacs (like yawn). So he says:

THIS TANK TOTALLY SUCKS HE’S THE WORST TANK IN THE WORLD EVER, I CAN’T BELIEVE HE’S TANKING THIS HE SUCKS HE SUCKS HE SUCKS I CAN’T BE EXPECTED TO DPS IN THESE CONDITIONS AND BY THE WAY HE TOTALLY SUCKS!!!!!!!

How sweet is iMbAmAgé? Did I say he was like my best friend in WoW ever? I might send him a pic of me as a reward, hee heee!! Except then he might get the wrong idea! Heee heee!!!!!!!

But everybody just totally ignored him. And I bet they were wishing they hadn’t when we WIPED on Ony. It was all the DDN’s fault AGAIN. First of all he totally positioned her wrong, how basic is that? I don’t know what he was doing because obviously I was concentrating on healing and I’m a girl irl so I don’t think about raid strategies and all that boring boy stuff but he stood RIGHT IN HER FACE. No wonder he was taking all that damage. And like the rest of the raid HAD TO RUN ALL THE WAY ROUND to get in her face as well so they could start DPSing ‘cos everybody knows you do more DPS if you stand right at the front.

Anyway, poor iMbAmAgé was so stressed about he … well … he did die in the fire attack when the dragon is in the air. But he would never have died if the DDN had been tanking properly.

So we just totally quit the raid. And all because of that terrible tank. Hahahaha, bet they were totally screwed without iMbAmAgé’s 2k DPS!

I'm sorry I know there's usually something useful you can learn from my posts, especially if you want to learn to solo heal anything lol, but this is just a total rant. I guess the lesson is DON'T LET THAT GUY TANK FOR YOU!!!!!!!!