THAT DWARF DICKNITE!!!!

Sorry i haven’t updated for a bit but I’ve been really busy being a girl irl. Did you miss me? Lol! *blush* I bet you totally did!

Anyhoos, this isn’t a story about me, it’s a story about one of my friends. Okay, not like one of my real friends but one of the people I talk to in the game and who have crazy crushes on me because I can solo anything and, you know, well *blush*. Girl irl here! Heehee!

So iMbAmAgé is totally my best friend, for, like ever in the game. We run loads of stuff together because he does DPS like I heal. I don’t know what the numbers are because I don’t need recount or anything because proper healers don’t need it but he tells me their really really big. Heehee! Sorry, that’s a private joke.

Like maybe he does like I don’t know like 2 thousand DPS or something!!!!!

So iMbAmAgé and me join this pug for Ony 25. And the RL is all like must have achiv and will be geer chk so we know its going to be good and he’s not letting any clueless noobs through like the snotty priest who was with me in Naxx that time, lol. iMbAmAgé and me have the achis and we like totally overgear LIFE (you should see my score on be imba *shy smile*) so the RL is like omg! Totally! The grp seems okay, like there are some noobs and stuff because they get everywhere these days, lol, and oh my god there’s this dwarf DK who thinks he’s ALL THAT. He’s being such a dick to the WHOLE GROUP. All because he got some stupid raiding title, like Starwhatever, and thinks he’s like the god of raiding now or something.

And I’m whispering to iMbAmAgé who does he think he is. Bet he couldn’t solo heal lol. And iMbAmAgé is like yeah cos he’s a DWARF DICKNITE, lol. And so we’re like going DICKNITE DICKNITE DICKNITE to each other and it’s the funniest thing ever.

And it turns out we don’t have 2 tanks cos who’d want to be a tank anyway. And the DDN (that stands for DWARVEN DICKNITE, hee hee, how funny are we?) with his STARWANKER title is all I can tank this. And the RL was all like oh yes please that would be totally awesome of you which just shows how wrong about people you can be.

So we pull the trash and ohmygod we WIPE ON TRASH!!!!!!!!!!

And it’s totally the DDN’s fault. And the RL is all can the ret pallys please be careful with stunning the mobs so the tanks can pull them properly, and can we get heals on both tanks please. I really thought he was an okay guy but it turns out he’s a total noob trying to lead a raid. Come on!!!!!! I mean I can solo heal ANYTHING and he’s telling me how to do my job? I mean, I’m not healing that DDN, ‘cos he totally doesn’t deserve my heals.

And I was getting really sad because everybody was being really mean to be when it wasn’t my fault and maybe they didn’t know I was a girl irl or something. But iMbAmAgé who is my bestest friend in the game like ever speaks up for me. And he says it in all caps so everybody can see it and it won’t get lost in all that stuff the RL is saying about the tacs (like yawn). So he says:

THIS TANK TOTALLY SUCKS HE’S THE WORST TANK IN THE WORLD EVER, I CAN’T BELIEVE HE’S TANKING THIS HE SUCKS HE SUCKS HE SUCKS I CAN’T BE EXPECTED TO DPS IN THESE CONDITIONS AND BY THE WAY HE TOTALLY SUCKS!!!!!!!

How sweet is iMbAmAgé? Did I say he was like my best friend in WoW ever? I might send him a pic of me as a reward, hee heee!! Except then he might get the wrong idea! Heee heee!!!!!!!

But everybody just totally ignored him. And I bet they were wishing they hadn’t when we WIPED on Ony. It was all the DDN’s fault AGAIN. First of all he totally positioned her wrong, how basic is that? I don’t know what he was doing because obviously I was concentrating on healing and I’m a girl irl so I don’t think about raid strategies and all that boring boy stuff but he stood RIGHT IN HER FACE. No wonder he was taking all that damage. And like the rest of the raid HAD TO RUN ALL THE WAY ROUND to get in her face as well so they could start DPSing ‘cos everybody knows you do more DPS if you stand right at the front.

Anyway, poor iMbAmAgé was so stressed about he … well … he did die in the fire attack when the dragon is in the air. But he would never have died if the DDN had been tanking properly.

So we just totally quit the raid. And all because of that terrible tank. Hahahaha, bet they were totally screwed without iMbAmAgé’s 2k DPS!

I'm sorry I know there's usually something useful you can learn from my posts, especially if you want to learn to solo heal anything lol, but this is just a total rant. I guess the lesson is DON'T LET THAT GUY TANK FOR YOU!!!!!!!!

some people are such noobs its not even funny

Snotty's words have been kindly transcribed for us today by Slik.

So I'm running around Org showing off my pretty pony, when I noticed in trade some poor guys LFH for Ramps. Normally, I avoid reading trade, but something must have been going on in Ironforge, because noone pointed out how sweet my plate matches my Charger.

So, I whisp back and tell them I can walk them through Ramps, IF THEY REALLY NEED it. 'Cos I can solo heal anything, lol, and it's not even like they were doing it on heroic or anything which would have been less totally boring for me.

Of COURSE they jump at the chance to have me join them, and I let them summon me over.

They were total noobs, of course, but FINALLY someone noticed me for who I am. They were falling all over themselves and just amazed at how equipped I am. And I was like *shy smile* *blush* because every though I'm an uberleet raider, and a girl irl, I didn't want to make them feel too bad about themselves.

The rest of the group was a Deathnite, a cow Druud, some gurl with one of those rotating glowing balls (a Shamey I think) and a Warrior. (maybe he was a fight pallidin)

I should of known better.

It started off bad. The tank couldn''t even tank. I kept making sure he was full of health, and the idiot kept letting the monsters come after me!!! Yes, I'm 80 and VERy well accessorized, but come ON, if I wanted to solo this, I WOULD!!

Since they were being so lame, I tried to get them to pick up the pace a bit. I mean, if I'm helping them, they can at least not waste my time.

Of course, when the tank was letting go of his guys, the DPS ediots couldn't handle the couple extra mobs I brought over.

I had to resurrect one of them 5 time!!!!!

We go threw the place, and they might as well be sitting on my back. UGH!!!

Finally, we get to the last bosses. Knowing how incompetent these morons are, I seggest we go rite, and do the easy boss first.

I'm plenty mad, and I almost decide to let the tank die, but FOR ONCE, he keeps the boss on HIM, and not ON ME, so I finally heal him. It's actually going OK, until the boss throws me off the platform!!!

AND I DIE!!!!!

So I left those noobs to rot.

If they can't even kill the guy, they don't deserve my help.

Idiots.

...

Today's Snottydin post comes courtesy of the ever fabulous Vorla

So I was like looking over my guild the other day, rite, and I noticed they were all like, lame (my gear is all great cause I like soloheal a bunch of raids all the time cause I can totally do that cause I'm a girl irl)! So I was like "I'M TOTALLY NOT DOING THIS N E MOAR!!!1" and /gquit. I was sooo looking forward to having them all beg and stuff for me to come back cause, I can like soloheal and that's totally cool. APPERANTLY!!! they don't know that I'm a girl irl so they were all like whatever. That's so lame! Don't they know I shud be treated like a princess right!

So anyway I was like looking for a new guild who could kno how to like not be rude and stuff. And i saw this dude in /2 going like "This guild or whatever is recruiting! You can join if u r aewsom!!1" and I was like, omg! that's totally me! It seemed like, the perfect guild and I was like omigosh, finally a guild with people who r as kewl as I am!! Maybe even someone who is a girl irl who can be like, my trainee!

So I whispered that dude like "HAI ^_^ did u kno i am a girl irl I am also very awesome so like invite me to ur guild!!!!1" and he whispered me back like "omg a girl that's like awesum!!" and I was like "I KNOOO!!!!". So anyway he invited me to his guild and it was like totally awesome cause everyone was like, as awesome as me at least I think so. I know right fat chance but whatever.

So anyway my new guild is called "ANGLES OF DARKNES" and we r like totally awesome! Everyone is so nice to me cause im a girl irl and everything yeah I know lol rite. This dude sent me some realllyyyy creepy pics on our forums so I guess not everyone can be as respectful of me as that one who invited me. So anyway I asked to be an officer cause I'm a girl irl and they alredy treat me so nice and all and then SOMEHOW!!! it was not very nice anymore! He was like "lol yeah rite" and I was like "WTF U NOOB" and he was like "you think you can be GL first day you join lol" and I was like "..." and totally put him on ignore! Showed him. what a noob, lol.

healing meme lol

Snotty's words have been kindly transcribed today by Koch.

So there's like this meme or whatever going round about healing and I can't believe nobody tagged me!!!! :( :( :( :( I guess everybody was too shy because I am such an awesome healer and I'd make them look bad.

What is the name, class, and spec of your primary healer?
Snottydin, Paladin and Girl IRL, of course!

What is your primary group healing environment? (i.e. raids, pvp, 5 mans)
LOL, I am so amazing I can heal anything. Of course I mainly raid with my guild in 25man hardmodes (hard, get it? LOL), but I heal anything for anyone.

What is your favorite healing spell for your class and why?
Flash of Light LOL. It's all that's really needed. When your spellpower is as high as mine, you'll be able to solo-heal almost anything with just flash of light.

What healing spell do you use least for your class and why?
Anything else, really. If you are as good as me, there is no need for anything but Flash of Light. Lololol.

What do you feel is the biggest strength of your healing class and why?
Mainly that it's my healing class. I mean .. with a healing godess like myself probably even a bandage rogue could be a great healer. But as a paladin – I can solo heal just about anything!

What do you feel is the biggest weakness of your healing class and why?
Due to the heavy plate I have to wear and other people misconceptions I occasionally have to have a second healer in the group. I mean.. I can solo-heal anything! But then they say „Paladins cannot heal raids“ … they have no idea that it's me. I usually have to whisper them and tell them how wrong they are then. Sometimes I even let slip that I am a girl in real life – because everyone knows girls are better at multitasking.

In a 25 man raiding environment, what do you feel, in general, is the best healing assignment for you?
Hello? It's me! Snottydin. I can heal anything. I'm usually best on maintank healing because then no one else tries to keep them up and compete with me. I can then always keep an eye on everyone elses castbars and run to cover them too.

What healing class do you enjoy healing with most and why?
I like healing with a new healer of any class. Then I can give them whispered tips throughout the instance and show them how to heal properly. Not that they will ever achieve my level of woot, but at least I can show them how to do it right! Sometimes I even get to flirt with them a little, when they find out I'm a girl IRL *blush*

What healing class do you enjoy healing with least and why?
Anyone who thinks they are required when I'm around – and other paladins are the worst. They keep insisting that I'm doing it rong – and then sometimes get really huffy when I tell them to shut up and listen to me. I mean.. I'm a girl IRL. I am just better than them!

What is your worst habit as a healer?
Flirting with the main tank during an important pull and letting slip that I'm a girl IRL. Sometimes they get so distracted that they die.

What is your biggest pet peeve in a group environment while healing?
I really don't like it when people shout for heals. I mean.. I see their health nice and clear – they are just not highest priority. The list is always me, then the nicest guy who knows I'm a girl IRL, then the rest. They really should know not to ask for heals. LOL

Do you feel that your class/spec is well balanced with other healers for PvE healing?
Not really. I think paladins are a little underpowered. We need more utility to cover for the glaring mistakes the developers made when designing our spells. At least some instant cast Flash of Light would be really good. Occasionally I get distracted when playing and then only look up and see someone is taking a lot of damage who does not deserve to die. And then I have to wait for the cast to finish. It sometimes even makes me curse a little *blush*.

What tools do you use to evaluate your own performance as a healer?
There is really no need to evaluate my performance. I know I am a healing godess. And a girl IRL.

What do you think is the biggest misconception people have about your healing class?
Oh they so always say paladins are good only for tank-healing. But if you are as good as me, there is nothing I cannot do. I mean... I could practically solo-heal any of this.

What do you feel is the most difficult thing for new healers of your class to learn?
I expect the amount of spells sometimes flusters new paladin healers. From experience I can tell them that it's really only flash of light they need to use. If you are as good as I am, that is enough LOL.

If someone were to try to evaluate your performance as a healer via recount, what sort of patterns would they see (i.e. lots of overhealing, low healing output, etc)?
I suppose they would see my flash of light being enough to heal anything. So perfectly, in fact, that I could probably solo-heal the raid we went to. And the other healers being really low on the meters.

Haste or Crit and why?
Doesn't matter. I'm a healing godess and I can solo-heal this with any gear.

What healing class do you feel you understand least?
There was
There was this priest once, who seemed to do silly things. I tried to teach him how to heal properly (and may have told him I am a girl IRL as well *blush*) but he was still rather high on the meters. Funny that.

What add-ons or macros do you use, if any, to aid you in healing?
I use grid and xperl and decursive and smartdebuff. That's all I need, really.

Do you strive primarily for balance between your healing stats, or do you stack some much higher than others, and why?
I stack spellpower, of course. That's the only way to reach healing like a godess. No other way could I solo-heal this. Although that last sentence sounded almost a bit boastful *blush* and I'm not really used to boasting. I'm a girl IRL, see? LOL

its not easy beeing pink

Today's Snottydin post was kindly transcribed by the, like, totally awesome DDK

LOL not the singar, I’m like totally not as cool as her *Blush*!

But pink, as being a pink-a-din -and a healing one at that.

And let me tell you all, It’s not easy!

As soon as anyone finds out im a girl in rl, they totally FLIP out! (Especially when they find out I went to Oxford!!)

Like, is it’s so amazing that a girl can be this good at healing? It should be: That it’s amazing that ANYONE can be this good at healing, because that’s what I am in game. I am a totally healing Goddesses (I had to look that word up *giggles*, it means girl in real life who is like a God!), and the haters can’t handle that!

For example I get a lot of hate from other healers when I come into their instance, they FLIP OUT at me, because I heal their tanks this good! *smiles shyly* It’s like in real life, where I am a girl, and everyone looks at me when I enter a room, and they stare at me *giggles*. They stare in game too. They stare because I look totally HOT *flustered*. And it’s not easy to have them stare at me this much. It’s like “come-on can’t you just let me heal in peace?” *blush*. I get totally shy when they distract me like that and take my concentration away from healing. And that’s a problem for the whole raid.

Also, my hotness and super hero powers at healing (im terrible at dps *blush*), makes me steal away all the boys’ attention. So they stand in fires, and run the wrong way. That is usually what happens when we wipe. Even though im such an incredible healer, I just can’t save everyone who stands in fires just staring at me *sighs*. Or like the tank if he likes stares at my… woman parts.*blushes like a gir..like a lot*

Luckily being a girl irl, I’m very skilled at communications and talking. So I’m very good at whispering those that FAIL HARD at playing the game, and calmly explain to them what they did wrong, and teaching them how to play *smiles timidly*.

And as an extra incentive to the very very slow boys playing, I flirt a little with them. It makes everything so much easier. And they respond so well to that.

*blush*

No I’m like not proud of it, but a girl must do what a girl must do, to get the raid done. *smiles*

Ps the post is called its not easy being pink, because I am a girl irl and because paladins usually wear a lot of pink stuff. And who doesn’t love pink?

toadman lol

Snottydin's awesome words have been kindly transcribed today by Tapelia

So I was in Dalaran, hanging out by the fountain and letting people see just how imba I am (my gear is really great, I got a lot of it solo healing raids cos I’m really good lol), when some noob said over general that he was selling the mechanical toad pet for, like, 300g.

I whispered him to ask if I could have one cheaper cos I’m like really a girl irl and stuff and I like pets, but he didn’t get back to me straight away and that like really irritates me cos how dare he not reply doesn’t he know how rude that is?!?!!!

I thought I’d give him another chance so I whispered again, this time using caps so he’d definitely see it and know that he really should reply really quickly:

HAI I CAN HAS TOAD FOR 20G?!?! I’M A GIRL AND I LIKE PETS!!!!!!1!!!1!!11

But he still didn’t reply!! You can’t let people like that get the better of you, cos then you lose respect and that’s like not good so I had to let him know I deserved to be treated better. So what I did, and this was so funny, was start whispering him over and over again, like this:

TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN, TOADMAN

Lol!!!!!! Isn’t that funny?!!! I was laughing so hard and I told my friend (she’s also a grrl in real life to) and she was laughing to lol lol lol so we were both laughing but the guy then said I should stop whispering him and that he wouldn’t let me have a toad for 20g. WTF?!?!?!?! How mean is that and it’s not nice to be mean to grrls people should know that cos its really true and I’m really a grrl.

so I told toadman that if I could have a toad cheap I’d let him come on a raid with me but he STILL didn’t seem convinced and I don’t understand why not cos I’m really good have I mentioned that I can solo heal pretty much anything? By then I was really getting tired of that stupid noob cos he doesn’t know anything and I guess its better that I didn’t go on a raid with him cos I bet he’d run the wrong way and make us all die!!!!

the lesson here is I must stop being so nice to people cos they just try to take advantage of me and don’t realise how lucky they are to have the chance to raid with me. I bet toadman was just hoping I’d talk to him more that’s why he wouldn’t just give me a toad right away but I’m too smart to fall for that lol lol lol Guys always hit on me but I guess they can’t help it cos there lame and don’t get out much while I’m a girl irl.

what a noob

so i was in Dalaran and these casual noobs were like totally desperate for a healer. for naxx 10. lol. yeah right. so anyway i was like yeah whatever i’ll come because i'm awesome and they were like way grateful because i was like the most totally geared person there. i know. all this and i'm a girl irl. because i am, you know. a girl irl.

so i get summoned in and get this. they have three healers!!!!!1!!!! for naxx 10. what a bunch of noobs. and one of them was this totally snotty priest. and i'm like you totally don't need 3 healers for naxx 10. i could totally like solo heal this. and for some reason the snotty priest had a major hissy fit and the raid leader was all like its my way or the highway bitch and i was like whatever, you know?

so i like totally ignored him because who did he think he was? the raid leader of me? like no way! and so i was telling the other healers to go dps and they were like acting all wtf about it like they thought they didn't have to do exactly what i say or something. what was there problem? didn't they know i was a girl irl?

so they totally didn't listen to me the stupid idiots. i kept telling them i could totally solo it but it was like the rest of them wanted to like play the game as well, like they thought it was about them and not about me. people on the internet are so weird. it's a good job i'm a girl irl.

the rl had the snotty priest on main tank healing. like i know wtf. it should totally have been me. so i was like screw these guys, i don't have to do what other peopel say i have to do, i'm totally going to main tank heal ANYWAY. that'll totally show them. the raid like nearly totally wiped. what a bunch of noobs. but the snotty priest got the message and switched to raid healing pretty fast after that. lol. you've just gotta be firm to get what u want. like maybe i could have discussed it with the other healers but they had to learn it was all about me.

so we did Naxx and I was totally telling them I could solo heal it but it was really weird. it was like nobody was listening to me. like what is wrong with people?

so anyway the snotty priest like totally ran the wrong way like a noob on thaddius and did some damage to the raid so after i was like:

U RAN THE WRONG WAY!!!!!1111!!!!

I use caps a lot because sometimes people don't answer my whispers so I guess they don't always see them.

And he was all oh well thanks for pointing that out. like what was his problem.

And then he was like yeah i haven't done that fight before i'm just glad i didn't wipe the raid.

So then I tried really hard to be totally nice to him and he was totally mean back. it was like he didn't think i was awesome or something. i know. what a noob.

So then I told him I was a girl irl and it was like he didn't care or something. i know. what was wrong with him. So I started acting like a girl irl so he would know I was telilng the truth and it was like he still didn't care. I guess he doesn't meet many girls irl so he didn't know what to do. What a loser. I bet he couldn't solo heal. lol.